As a viewer I couldn’t take my eyes off because of this. It was dramatic, slow and aesthetically harmonious. The opening scene set to the tune of Damien Rice’s song “The Blower’s Daughter,” which shows Jude Law and Natalie Portman’s characters spotting each other on a busy London street was gorgeous. I’ll admit that I was hooked by the allure of the romance.
This week I watched the film Closer, a 2004 drama in which the four central characters fall in and out of passionate love that often comes “at first sight.” How much of a coincidence is it that all these couplings end in disaster?
They want only the small snippet of me that they see. They don’t know my quirks, my values, my strengths or my weaknesses. All I need is to see her to know.” Because that person 30 feet away doesn’t know me at all. I would never want someone to see me from 30 feet away on the street and say, “That’s it. They depend on communication, compromise and above all, mutual understanding. Relationships do not just thrive on attraction. Their physical appearance provides only a small peek into their whole identity, an identity that must fit and function alongside yours in order for a relationship to work. Is this person unkind? Erratic? Prone to frequent violent outbursts? Who knows. But to me, love at first sight has no place in “romance.” I consider myself a dreamer, a poetic, a thoroughly romantic spirit, and yet the idea of a Cinderella-style encounter just leaves a sickening taste in my mouth.įor me the problem exists in “sight.” How can physical appearance, a purely superficial trait, be sufficient criteria for a connection? In my own experience, seeing someone from afar tells me little to nothing about the soul that resides underneath the surface. In the ongoing debate between love at first sight and love at deepest connection, people fall into two camps - romantics and idealists. Love does not just “come to you.” It is disillusionment that often makes the Cinderella dream die.
People are brought up to drop the fairy-tale ideals and settle with the reality that says you have to work for love. Life and experience tell us that it’s not.
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